roxayelicious' Journal

I've given up.
as the title tells...i just got myself single all over again.

It wasn't wholly his fault; i was wrong to have expected too much of a 22 yr old ..
but he knew i was way matured for my age, and i needed a man who could plan and strategize his lifepath well instead of just lumbering along, not prepared at all for life's instantaneous attacks.

I was patient for the past few months, waiting for him to snap out of this reverie,
Each time i got fed up a railing tag will ensue; only to fade the next day.
I think he took that for granted, and believed truly i will always tolerate and forgive.
But im sorry, this time, enough is enough.

im not gonna fall for u again if you lose that drive, that determination, that will.
Those were the qualities that stood you amongst the crowd- not your looks
I fell for the charismatic, confident and determined you.
I got sick of that sluggish character behind the facade of the maplestory gamer.

You were right; i am hardhearted
I gave you a chance- correction, many chances.
Even till yesterday you still crossed the line.
Splitting up temporarily doesnt mean we still meet up everyday and act lovey dovey again
isnt that what we do when we get into trivial arguements, not turmoil sort of talks.

I'm not your world. The world is more than just me.
You know i love metaphors and analogies, but not of such nature.
Your immaturity shook me in pure askance
i have to let you go; im sorry

Don't say "you're losing me.." it irks me to the core.
Im giving you chances time and again, i even promised you not to date others when waiting for your change.
Isn't that sacrifize enough? You'd still be pessimistic?
In that case, go ahead. go wallow in self pity,
Cos if you stay this way, a truly wise and successful man, is what you'll never be.

Friends, thank you for being there.

I love you Min, thank you for shopping with me(though u bot wayy more stuff than me haha)

I love you Gina, you know me so well. You know i hate immaturity. And i love you for being so sweet and understanding all the time.

I love you Mag, thanks for being my long time friend and knowing me so well.

I love you Sherwin, i noe u genuinely wanted to help him. But by helping him your harming him. Let him be strong and work for what he truly wants.

I love you Net, you make me smile fat cow. hear me moo! haha

I love you all Al, Lawrence,Jeff,Nicholases, Didi, Martiah,Furhan.. you'd only know how much your friends care when you hit the pitholes. Thank you all for being there.

I love you all who care about me. i may not behave like a thankful person all the time. But deep inside, i am..and i do care about you as well.

Life has a meaning, now that i've learnt how to let go of someone i really loved. I still love him, i just need him to shed that negative aura around him. If we get back together, good. If not, we just werent meant to be. He's joining Singapore Idol this year. If he gets into the main competition, pls support Willie Lee!

If you stand tall and hold your own, love will find its way back to you.

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